3 Surprise Lessons I Learned On The Dance Floor

Have you ever had to face the fear of stepping out of your comfort zone? Chances are there are beautiful surprises waiting on the other side.

Once upon a time in 2009, my Mom was asked to be a “celebrity dancer” in the very first fundraiser of it’s kind, “Dancing for the Arts” Gala, created as a take off from the very popular (and new at the time) television show, Dancing with the Stars.

My Mom, at the time, held an executive leadership director position with our local county government and I remember sitting and smiling from the audience, beaming with pride as her daughter.

She made the waltz look effortless and was full of grace as she glided across the ballroom floor with her professional dance partner.

Fast forward 13 years to present day?

The bun that was in my oven in 2009, is now a teenager.

The mother – daughter dancing roles are reversed and Shawn and I have added a few new smiling daughters to the ballroom audience.

In case you haven’t caught the cell phone clips of the gala, you can catch them HERE on my Instagram story highlight, or HERE on my facebook page.

(The full show will be airing soon on the Harford TV Network.)

The truth is?

I am most content in the audience.

I love cheering for my people.

I love fanning the flames of others.

I love being the friend in the front row and sounding board for other people’s Big Things.

So when I received a message in February, while we were away on our vacation in Sanibel?

I quickly scanned the message and saw that it was full of scary words.

Words like:

Celebrity dancer.

Fundraising Goal.

Gala.

Dance lessons.

I replied with a quick and polite, thank you for thinking of me, it is such an honor…

But, jumped right into my concern over the time commitment and then, I honestly tried to forget about the whole scary invitation, so that I could relax and soak in the calm and serene setting of Sanibel.

Just thinking about a dance floor with an audience full of people didn’t quite fit into my recipe for relaxation.

And then?

Then, I returned home from vacation and the phone rang.

Honestly, I was full of reasons why I couldn’t and shouldn’t say yes to this exclusive honor and invitation.

I had just celebrated my first year in business as a self employed, interior decorator and new business owner of Home with Heather.

And if the first year of being in business for myself has taught me anything?

It‘s this:

Time is money.

I don’t love that – but I am learning this hard truth as an independent business owner.

And time?

Time is not something I have a lot of these days.

(I am certain you can relate.)

So, my knee jerk reaction was that every minute of my non-Mom time, needed to be filled with tangible doing efforts focused fully on working to grow my new baby business.

In the form of meeting with clients, helping them decorate their homes and with realtors and their clients, by way of helping them with their home staging needs.

I simply felt there wasn’t any time for such things as –

“Want To’s….

Because?

Because, my days were already stretched thin, with all of the –

Have To’s…

of being a new business owner, just coming out of first year launch phase.

But?

After fielding that phone call from the kind Gala co-chair and learning the details of the time commitment, along with the $10,000 fundraising goal, set for each dancer to raise, in order to support the proposed building of the new Maryland Center for the Arts, in Bel Air…

I prayed on and off for a week.

Slowly, I felt a conviction to lean into this invitation.

I discussed the opportunity and what a true honor it was to simply be invited, over with my family and friends.

And then…

After a lot of hesitation and contemplation?

I said YES.

I wrote about this crazy, wild thing I said Yes to and WHY, HERE in this post, back in March.

Ultimately, I said YES, 12 weeks ago and jumped right into my first dance lesson with my professional partner, Nathan Trexler at Dancing With Friends.

This decision was my way of putting skin on this little mantra, that I personally created and adopted for myself during the Spring season, grounded in the desire to live a little more “light-hearted and easy going.“

Basically?

It boiled down to the fact that, I was ready for FUN to start taking a front row seat again after a somewhat stressful season.

Anyone else?

FUN needed to be prioritized and factored back into my life…because light-hearted and easy-going doesn’t always come so easy.

Am I right?

Yes, dialing up the fun factor…seemed like a good place to start.

And?

The thing is?

Making time for “fun” was just the beginning.

What I didn’t realize back in March, that I am realizing now?

Is this…

3 Surprise Lessons I Learned On The Dance Floor

Lesson Learned #1

I was in need of a stress relieving activity –

that required my mind to be present.

Maybe you already have a thing that you do that helps you to relieve stress.

I thought I did.

I thought that my daily walk or run was my thing.

Until I started this dancing thing.

As our friends gathered that evening to support me on Gala night, so many of them asked if I had enjoyed the journey and work that it took in getting to this day.

And the answer is?

YES.

I have SO enjoyed it.

All of it.

What I noticed about my training and dance lesson experience, in preparation for the big show during the gala…is that my mind shifted….starting in the car.

Most training days, I would jump in the car, and begin the 20 minute ride with a busy brain brimming with all the things.

And as I got closer to the studio?

I could feel my stresses of the day begin to fade as I allowed my brain to softly switch gears and think about my dance steps instead of my business strategy.

While I have always thought of my morning walk or run as my way to decompress…

The truth is?

I am usually listening to a podcast, soaking in some teaching and my mind is still always…

Processing.

Thinking.

Analyzing.

Overthinking.

Goiiiinnnggggg.

The difference between participating in an activity where you are learning or simply doing, such as dance lessons, or tennis lessons or horseback riding lessons…(you get the idea) is?

You have to be present.

In the moment.

Focused.

No phone.

No distraction.

Just you and your present attention.

Which means?

All that other stuff that I was tripping on in my mind, before I left the house?

It was put on a shelf for 2 hours.

And my mind was better because of the break.

So much of what we do these days, we tend to get away with not actually being present.

Just take a look out the car window the next time you are driving down the interstate.

The scene of cell phone texting and driving is scary.

And the scene of a restaurant or coffee shop ridden with cell phones is sad.

We get away with SO MUCH these days without bringing our full self to the table.

My weekly dance training was a gift.

The gift of recognizing that not only did I need to make time for more fun...

But?

I needed to do something new, that required my full attention and presence –

A place where I couldn’t cheat my presence…

or myself.

When I made myself present to the process of learning something new?

I made an exit strategy for stress.

Lesson Learned #2

Just because we already know something –

doesn’t mean there isn’t value in re-learning the lesson again.

True growth comes from being pushed outside of our comfort zones.

You know this.

I know this.

This is not new news.

And yet?

Just because we already know something, doesn’t mean there isn’t value in re-learning the lesson again.

I know that I am more comfortable in the audience, cheering and watching.

To the point that –

My stomach literally dropped to my ankles when I walked into this ballroom on Saturday morning, just before arriving for hair and makeup.

My hand was shaking just trying to take this selfie.

This was a WHOA moment.

As in, this is happening and where is the closest EXIT door to run to.

But?

Something had changed over the last 12 weeks.

While the pursuit of lighthearted FUN and putting myself back on my own priority list, was the top fuel that had initially started this Dancing For the Arts engine?

The thing that was keeping my foot pressed on the pedal…was different.

It was strength birthed out of the discomfort of being pushed into something new and unfamiliar.

Remember – your girl here, came in to this with ZERO dance experience.

I never took ballet as a little girl and my signature go to dance move is the grapevine.

I rest my case.

With every dance lesson and every practice mess up…

I was strengthening mind muscles that had atrophied.

In short – I was taking a refresher course in the life lesson class of:

Life begins at the end of your comfort zone.

There was so much GOLD in the form of re-learning afresh, this life lesson that I had already known for so many years.

So often, I think that we think just because we know something to be true, we believe we are living that truth out subconsciously right?

Wrong.

When really?

Really, I think the world we live in has forced us into self protection mode living, understandably so.

But the truth is?

We can’t just trust the process of growth and hope it will come and find us where we are sitting.

I love how Senior Editor at Baker Books, Stephanie Smith says it:

“Trust the Process is actually an incomplete sentence….

…if I could complete the sentence it would read like this instead –

Trust the process by putting in the practice.”

“Because if you just sit there and trust, but you never take those next steps, you are not going to move forward. So, there is an invitation to step into the practice, which means, roll up your sleeves, and take the next step and actually engage your muscles in the forward motion of your life.”

Stephanie Smith – quote taken from her interview on the next right thing podcast episode 227

And so?

All of that uncomfortable?

All of that scary from leaving the safety of my comfort zone of the audience?

It was me stepping…

I take that back…

It was me – Dancing into the forward motion of my life.

Here’s a little review of what re-learning this little life lesson looked liked.

All of the scary, uncomfortable, deep breathing moments and on my knees prayer?

This was my personal version of trusting the process by putting in the practice.

Re-learning an old lesson afresh.

That if you want to grow?

Pushing yourself into new experiences and doing the thing – is the vehicle that moves you from where you used to be, and into a new place of feeling and living.

Lesson #3

Seize The Value Of Opportunity Tucked Into Teachable Experiences.

Fun & Stress Relief?

Check.

The value of an old life lesson re-learned afresh?

Check.

And finally?

The chance to put into practice what Shawn and I preach to our three young ladies.

As a Mom to three daughters, growing up in a world where metrics are king and image is queen.

Where the targets keep moving, and social pressures keep building?

The stakes are high.

Very, very high.

If I could go back to the moment when Mindy Basara interviewed me, just after we had finished our rumba and she asked:

“Heather, how do you feel?“

Had I not been still shaking and had a real moment to process the rush and energy…

I would have pointed to these three ladies, who took my seat, as the proud daughter in the front row…

And I would have said:

“I am grateful for this unique opportunity and I hope that I made my girls proud.”

I am so very grateful to be given the chance to put into practice what I attempt to instill in our daughters everyday.

This entire journey, has been a teachable experience for our family.

So now, when I encourage our girls and sing the soundtrack of any of these familiar lines:

It’s ok to be nervous.

You got this.

Get out there and do your thing.

I know you are scared –

Do it anyway.

Feeling nervous is a good sign that you are invested and that you care.

Show up anyway.

I know you are anxious –

But I am confident enough for the both of us.

I hope they see their Mom’s eyes staring back at them who put into practice, what she preaches.

Which is:

“Go out there and do your thing.

Bring your best.

And?

Make yourself proud.”

And this past Saturday night?

Their triple confidence in me?

Was exactly what I needed to get out there, nerves, fears and all…

and do the thing..

Make myself proud.

And hope I made them proud too.

Plus…

Rumor has it – they had a good time too. 😉

A HEARTFELT THANK YOU TO MY SPONSORS

Thank you to the incredible and humbling response to my fundraising efforts after I announced my participation in this year’s Dancing for the Arts Gala.

So many of you helped me to not only surpass my fundraising goal, but also allowed me the honor of being awarded Third Place as Top Fundraiser for the Maryland Center for the Arts!

THANK YOU!!

This year’s Dancing for the Arts Gala was a historical record breaking event, raising over 200K total from the entire showcase of dancers!!

Thank You For Your Generous Donations Towards My Fundraising Goal!

Jones Junction

Bill & Paige Cox

Mary Chance

Klein’s Shoprite of Maryland – Sarah Klein

Billy Boniface

Frank Hajek & Associates

Barbara Schneider

Jill & Lyle Peters

Robert & Laurie Andrews

Chad Shrodes

Jeff & Mary Paxson

Jay Ellenby

Bob Chance

Stephan Hollens

Krista Demcher

Jennifer Davis

Barbara Clark

Tarheel Construction – Joe Ayler

Gail Jordan

Rich & Karen Streett

Erica Epple

Priscilla Appleby

Monika Vatenos

Phyllis Loveland

And to The many, Many friends who purchased raffle tickets!

Thank you to each and every one of you, who has sent a kind word my way, encouraged me to go for it from the beginning and shared in the making of this special memory.

Participating in the Dancing for the Arts gala has been a true honor and I continue to be humbled by the overwhelming support I have received.

Thank you so, so much.

One more thing…

The bonus from this experience, that I almost chickened out of?

New friends.

The bonus surprise was all of the new faces I met, that I am now blessed to call friends…all bonded together by a unique and exciting experience.

I am beyond grateful to have been selected to be a celebrity dancer and stand beside all of these extraordinary leaders in our community.

Last but not least?

So thankful for the love and support from my guy, who encouraged me to say yes!

What a fun way to celebrate our 17th wedding anniversary SLK! 🙂

Special thanks to Cynthia Hergenhahn and Dr. Mary Teddy Wray for inviting me to be a part of this year’s Dancing For The Arts to support the Maryland Center for the Arts.

Thank you to Tom Rzepnicki, Nathan Trexler and Natasha Pollock of Dancing with Friends dance studio for all of your time and training!

Thank you for teaching this non-dancer how to rumba!

Living on a prayer,

Heather

*Some of these photos are the beautiful professional photographs, generously taken and shared by the talented Robin Sommer by Images of Sommer. The rest are from a cell phone. 🙂