What If We Tried Softer? What You Need To Know About Learning A New Way To Try

Feeling a little anxious or stressed from all that is on your plate? Here is a fresh way to show up instead of doing and being everything.

Popping in today with a reminder to…

Breathe.

Yes.

Just…breathe.

This is a soft and still reminder to take in one long slow…deep breath.

And then let it go.

This is not a reminder to breathe….while checking your email.

This is not a reminder to breathe…while vacuuming.

This is not a reminder to breathe…while in a work meeting.

This is not a reminder to breathe…while driving.

This is not a reminder to breathe…while scrolling social on the sofa.

Why?

Because God is already handling that for you.

And God?

God doesn’t need reminders.

Nope.

God is good at remembering.

God is good at telling your lungs when to inhale and exhale.

Also?

God is good at creating your heart and controlling it’s beat.

No, this is YOUR reminder and MY reminder to BREATHE DEEPLY right now in this moment.

And?

Let that thing go.

The thing that keeps waking you up.

The thing that keeps invading your thoughts.

The thing that we are trying to figure out how to fix.

The thing we are working out a self made solution to.

The thing that is causing a bit of chaos in our everyday life.

This is your reminder to BREATHE the breath of release.

Friend, I am not sure what you are going through right now.

If you’re anything like me…then I am going to guess that –

Chances are you are doing the best you can.

Living out the gift of our everyday within a jam packed schedule and real life demands.

Trying to not drop the billion balls, keep a smile on your face all while racing thoughts intersect your brain’s busy highway where the speed has no limits…just the steady pace of fast...and faster.

Also?

Perhaps you are in a career transition.

Perhaps you are in the middle of a conflict with someone you love.

Perhaps you have lost someone you love, or it’s the tender anniversary of the day when you lost someone you love.

Perhaps a family member is making you crazy with their decisions.

Perhaps you are caring for an aging parent or sick child.

Perhaps you are waiting on doctor results.

And also?

Perhaps you are worn out from everyone needing YOU.

Perhaps…you are tired and maybe even a little grumpy.

Perhaps life is a lot right now.

Friend, hear this.

You are normal and not alone.

Also hear this.

Breathe.

Not the breath God is already handling for you.

Breathe the intentional breath prayer of release.

Today on the blog, I am sharing my honest heart about juggling all the things on our plates.

How I am choosing to show up softer in my everyday, through the inspiration of a new principle that caught my attention.

Plus my absolute favorite non-fiction books of all time, packed with wisdom and truth that have had dramatic impacts and change in my life over the last ten years.

So, if this sounds like something you want a slice of…

Follow me friend.

What If We Tried Softer?

What You Need To Know About Learning A New Way To Try

Today, at the bottom of the post, I am sharing with you all the books that have dramatically impacted my life and heart over the last decade.

But first.

I have to tell you about a book I haven’t read yet.

I know.

I know…sounds ridiculous to tell you about a book I haven’t even read yet.

But hear me out.

The reason I am sharing it with you is because just the book title alone has caused me to change my approach to many of the things I am tending to right now.

You might remember from this post, that my word for the year this year is “Nurture.”

Nurturing has been a big theme for me so far in 2023.

In fact, I wrote more about “How to Nurture Your Soul This Spring & Slow Down” last month, HERE in this post.

For the last 3 months I have been attempting to nurture and tend to the soul seeds I have planted over the last 3 years.

Professional seeds being both this blog you are reading right now and my Home with Heather decorating consulting business. As well as nurturing the needs of the human beings that make up our family of five and showing up well for them.

Which leads me to the title of this book, I think we both need to read.

Because again, I haven’t read it yet.

Stay with me friend – it’s about to get good.

This book comes highly recommended by authors I deeply admire and follow.

Authors like Shauna Niequist whose newest book, “I guess I haven’t learned that yet” I just finished listening to on Audible. (Shauna also wrote a book that made a HUGE impact on me in my 30’s, Present Over Perfect.)

Shauna recommends this book I’m about to share, in her own book and I loved hearing that she recommended it because it was already on my radar to read next.

The title of this book has already started to change the way I behave and engage with the work on my desk and the life I am living out, inside this complicated wild messy world of responsibilities, quick reactions, routines and roller coaster rhythms.

The book title is…

“Try Softer“

by aundi kolber

Yes please.

I would like to…Try Softer.

Here is the book on Amazon:

This is the new book I am about to start and feel compelled to share with you now.

Because even if you don’t get around to reading it right away?

I think the very title of this book can have the same powerful impact it has had on me over the last few months, after simply hearing the name of the book for the first time and resonating with the invitation on the table for each of us.

TRY SOFTER.

Yes and yes, I would like to try softer.

Maybe you too?

Hustle, Girl Boss, Self Made…

these are all words make me feel sick to my stomach.

But trying softer?

That sounds like something I want to get on board with.

After all?

The act of TRYING is the key to discovering almost anything in life.

And softer is the type of human I want to be.

The type of heart I want beating inside my chest.

Trying softer sounds to me like receiving the arm reaching out to us, with the most honest handshake, extending and offering us the loving and heartfelt invitation of grace…

To receive the Holy help that is being offered to us, and to take a breath and try.

In other words?

Commit to the work and commit the worry to the Lord.

No need to let the work or the worry bully and break you.

And?

No need to bury yourself under the rubble caused by paving the path forward all alone.

Because the One reaching out to us knows we have a lot on our plates and He wants to help us, by taking that burden off…so that we can move forward and try softer.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30 niv

And also?

Breathe…and Release.

Trying softer feels to me like…

“Catch and Release.”

This trying softer approach in my mind is already allowing me the chance and invitation I need to…

Catch my Breath and Release…

The worry.

The fear.

The overwhelm.

The exhaustion.

The discontentment.

The fear of failing.

The insecurity.

The scarcity.

The anxiety.

The results.

The future.

The moment.

The word Release by definition means to:

Allow or enable to escape from confinement; set free.

Allow (something) to move, act, or flow freely.

I don’t know about you…

But this invitation to try softer, by catching my breath and releasing the grip I have on so many of the things in my life…so that I can flow more freely in the freedom of grace and faith…

that sounds like something I want in on…

like yesterday.

I don’t need to tell you about the myth of control that is being sold to our kids and to our own selves on every street corner of this hustle harder culture and grind gauntlet world.

Don’t get me wrong, yes we can control our efforts and our attitudes.

By all means yes and yes.

Believe me, I am a BIG believer in bringing positive attitude, and personal effort to the table every day. There is nothing that makes me more sad than to see excuses and entitled lack of work ethic win over a willing effort and positive attitude.

But friend, I am willing to bet that our personal efforts and attitudes are not the things waking us up in the middle of the night or wrestling inside us throughout the day.

No, it’s the things we truly do not have control over and yet?

We strive to fix, better, build and bully our way through them.

Oh friend.

I get it.

There is just so much happening….so much of the time.

It’s just…a lot.

So we feel like we have to DO A LOT to meet all the happenings at half court and not only that…

we need to slam dunk it all to get it all done and done…

and don’t forget to look good while doing it.

But what if we tried softer?

I think our spouses, our kids and our grandkiddos would see a different way…a different us.

A way and invitation that maybe they could also get on board with and subscribe to…

A softer way.

A surrendered way.

Taking a deep breath, marking the moment to catch our breath and releasing whatever it is that is causing our heart to squirm and tighten inside our chest…

those are the things God wants most.

It’s time to catch and release friend.

What I’m learning right now is that, Nurturing…

is as much about tending to…

as it is letting go.

May I suggest that we each take a cue from Aundi Kolber’s book title...and receive the invitation to…

Try softer.

My thinking is that when we take time to catch our breath and release our grip on the controls…this also moves us out of the way…

And makes way for the One who is indeed in control of our very next breath…to move on our behalf.

No heavy lifting required…just catching and releasing.

“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”

1 peter 5:7 NIV

The word “cast” by definition means:

an act of throwing something forcefully.

When we purposefully pause to catch our breath.

We thoughtfully and consciously breathe in…and release our breath.

We give our hearts and hands the chance to take whatever it is we are holding on to and cast it up by way of throwing it up forcefully to the heavens above.

Casting them like a heavy net, up and over our shoulders to the One who is the master at catching our net of needs and knowing exactly how to intercede on our behalf.

And if you are having trouble believing He is there and at the ready to catch your net?

Believe me.

Because I believe enough for the both of us.

So let’s go ahead friend…

Let’s commit to the work and commit our worry to the Lord.

Let’s try softer together.

Living on a prayer,

Heather

Linking my all time favorite books below that have impacted my life in more ways than I can count!

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