The tide is changing again.
Summer days of salt air, water dances through the sprinkler in the yard and the endless supply of popsicles in the freezer are winding down.
The sun kissed season is about to hand off the baton to the cooler days waiting in the wings, patiently anticipating its turn to transform our front porches into pumpkin paloozas and our homes into crockpot cooking, candle-burning nooks of cozy glory.
Only…it feels different this year.
The Fall season…traditionally clothed in it’s glitzy wardrobe of sharpened pencils, fresh erasers and crisp clean pages of black and white composition books…all wrapped up in the promises of amazing work yet to be birthed and brought home to hang on our refrigerator doors…
…well, it all just feels a bit like the wood is wet on the flame of Fall.
Whether you are a parent of young children experiencing the strangest “back to school” season ever or you are simply experiencing the harsh realities of the dwindling days of Summer sun and the beginning of our third season in COVID times…
the tide is changing for all of us…again.
I want to encourage you friend…that even in the midst of the tide change and the sand shifting under our feet…you can…
release the pressure we are putting on ourselves to “get it right..right away.”
These waves of change, these trials of all kinds, these big decisions weighing on our shoulders, these hard relationships tripping us up, these difficult circumstances looming all around us…I really believe they are God’s attempt to move us into a deeper faith and trust In Him.
And here is the thing.
We are all going to do this next season differently.
How you “do Fall” and all of its festivus of holidays and school days…is up to you.
This next season is not a “one size fits all” season.
So, as we trade in our popsicle supply for school supplies…I am promising myself to be gentle with myself, to trust my gut and remember that I am in a “refining process.”
God is refining me.
God is refining our three daughters whom he has entrusted to our care.
God is refining my husband.
God is refining our family.
And the best thing I can do during this refinement process is to choose to seek out God’s heart and direction for our next baby step.
And instead of choosing to NOT see Him anywhere…in ANY of this?
I am choosing to see HIM EVERYWHERE.
With the blessing of having spent many days at the beach this Summer…I have been more aware than ever on how differently each family “does the beach.” In thinking about the season that is closing out..it seems that each one of us found our own “Summer rhythm” without even noticing it…but just living it out, day by day, in the days that opened up to us as we stepped.
For us…we operated primarily on the simple rhythm of:
Beach.
Bed.
Repeat.
And even if you too enjoyed a “beach rhythm” – a closer examination of a summer beach rhythm probably would reveal a unique beat.
Some of us spend all day under the umbrella, some spend all day in the water, some with their nose in a book and others with their eyes closed catching the gift of a “beach nap.” Some spend their time on a boat and never step foot on the sand, some never dip their toes in the water, some have a list of “must-do” activities and others operate on a “must-decompress” drop beat.
Some are sea shell seeking maniacs (guilty) and some are sand-castle making professionals. Some squeal and run at the sight of a horse-shoe crab while others run into the water hoping for the chance to catch it, hold it up proudly for onlookers to get a glimpse of the under belly.
You get the idea.
While we all “do Summer” or “do vacation” or “do the beach” – we all do it differently…bumping along to the self-selected rhythm we set in motion.
And so?
As we all “do Fall” and if you’re like me, staring into the eyes of the most strange “back to school” season ever – I would suggest that we can let go of the breath we are holding with the pressure to get it all right…
and instead exhale into the grace that we will figure this out while we live it out.
And?
We are all going to do it differently – and that is O.K.
You know your child.
I know my daughters.
How they operate and what they need are so unique and special.
Why?
Because God made them that way and He made us that way too.
“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.”
Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
I just “LOVE” how each of my daughters chose how to spell the word “love” differently on their hands from broken bits of shells. Earlier this week, a sweet friend texted me a similar picture of this idea because she thought I would love it. I did.
We we inspired to do our own hand of Love.
This little “hand of love” activity reminded me just how unique and different each of our children are.
How they give and receive love and how they SEE love.
It reminded me of a book I read years ago, with our small group. Gary Chapman’s, “The Five Love Languages takes a deep dive into helping you learn and understand your now unique “love language” – how you prefer to give and also receive “love.”
After taking the love language quiz I discovered that my “love language” is “quality time and Shawn discovered that his “love language” is “physical touch.”
I was excited when my children were toddlers to discover his follow-up book, “The Five Love Languages of Children.”
You can find links to both quizzes here.
The book is aimed to help you discover and learn how to speak your child’s love language. Chapman reveals that every child has a unique way of feeling loved, just as adults do.
I found both of these books to be extremely helpful in strengthening my relationship with the people I love by understanding the different strategies and ways I can demonstrate love lived out towards them.
And now?
In this season…that is wrapped in such unfamiliar territory, dotted with tiny fears crouching in the corners of the uncertain terrain of exactly how this is all going to work…and be lived out?
I am clinging to the best strategy I know…and who knows me…who is familiar with the territory, because He made it all and He knows it all.
I am trusting God and His perfect love to carry us in and through the changing tide.
“There is no fear in love.
But perfect love drives out fear,
because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”
1 John 4:18 NIV
I do believe we are all in this refinement process, thrown into the waves, tumbling like bits of shells tossed and churned inside the turning tide…over and over and over again.
“I will bring that group through the fire and make them pure. I will refine them like silver and purify them like gold. They will call on my name, and I will answer them. I will say, ‘These are my people,’ and they will say, ‘The Lord is our God.’”
zechariah 13:9 NLT Emphasis added
It is normal and needed to reach for strategies to help us find our footing in the journey of refinement and sharpen our behaviors to show up and love well…and while we do?
Let’s continue to not be swayed off our own unique course and calling by what we see others doing and then begin to doubt our own instincts.
Instead?
Let’s look up, to the One who calls us out into the deep waters of what feels like risky faith as the tide goes out…so that we can be open to the chance to be refined and used for His purpose…
To Love.
Just like you know your child and what they need.
God knows you and what you need.
He knows what you need in this season and He knows how to lead you in this season so that you can love and lead the ones entrusted into your care.
“Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God.”
1 john 4:7 NLT
Sweet friend, I recorded this earlier this week, with you in mind.
I shared this song with you a few weeks ago and if you know anything about me…it is that once I find a song I like…prepare to hear it played often and LOUD a bazillion times.
This is one of those times…I pray you will listen and allow yourself to be swept up in the waves of God’s love for you. Seeing you, knowing you, soothing you, guiding you, sustaining you, understanding you, wanting you to know…He Has You…and “your children and their children” as the song goes.
And just like the sea gull walking by at the end of the video…we are all just passing through…walking each other home friend.
It is going to be O.K.
And as the video ends, imagine the end of a movie, when the credits roll, with the actors names listed in all their glory for credit in their part in the story…
Only this time…it’s YOUR story…
“LOVE” played by GOD….acted out by YOU.
Dear Lord,
Thank you for your perfect love.
Help us to enjoy communion with you in our every day. Help us to see you in the small parts of our day and remind us that you see into the big places of our hearts.
Lord God I pray for your favor to be upon us as we step into the next season. For those of us that are facing big decisions, I pray you would help us to hear your voice, help us to listen and be led by you as we live out our next rhythm of life.
Thank you Lord for loving us the only way that you can.
Amen.
Living on a prayer,
Heather
This is terrific post. I´ve been thinking of starting a site on this topic
myself.
Best regards,
Mead Griffin
Thanks for reading and sharing! So glad you enjoyed the post Mead! Be well!