Soul Endurance in a Mental Marathon

“I’m a really good rememberer…so I’m probably never going to forget.”

My sleepy and sad six year old daughter debriefed me on the details of her very bad dream that had awoken her as she slipped under the blanket to join me in my snuggle spot on the sofa. I tried to comfort her, in all the usual reassurances. “It was just a bad dream.” “Don’t worry, it isn’t real.” To which she replied with a concerned look…”But Mommy, I’m a really good rememberer…so I’m probably never going to forget.”

Truth spoken. It’s hard to forget bad dreams.

Oh friends, how I so wish we could successfully tend to our aching hearts with the same recipe as I did with my six year old last week. By now I think many of us have tried to snuggle, snack and Netflix our way out of this bad dream reality leading us to where we are right now. Three weeks in, wobbly and a little weary. Though our closets may be cleaned out, our minds are piled high with the dirty laundry of anxiety ridden thoughts and fears.

I’m going out on a limb and guessing, maybe you are like me right now. When I wake up in the morning, the first thing that drops into my brain is a wrecking ball of remembrance of the details and confirmation of our collective bad dream. Followed by sadness, stemming from the grief I feel. Longing for the days when we hug again, hold hands at the dinner table again, watch our children put on their game-day jerseys again, enter the grocery store without gloves or that awful gripping in our chest again. Simply, when we…breathe easier again.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t having trouble sleeping. I am.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t worrying. I am.

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t scared of someone I love getting sick. I am.

I wold be lying if I said every day I am doing good. I’m not.

One night last week, my middle of the night worries just weren’t letting go. Particularly, my worry that my husband, who is still going into the offie every day for his job is going to get sick. Then, without realizing it, he brings home the virus and his germs spread to all 5 of us, including our oldest daughter who has illness induced asthma. The worry circled my brain like a mad hamster on a wheel.

…”Shawn is going to get sick because he continues to leave the house every day for work. His leaving the house makes us all vulnerable…Eve has asthma. Eve has asthma. Eve has asthma…”

It would not stop. Until, I wrote over the worry script in my mind with Truth.

The Truth?

The scripture verse I had been sharing with my girls just that morning was my weapon against my middle of the night worry. I tossed that hamster off his wheel…and replaced it with Truth as I started to turn the scripture verse over and over in my head until I found sleep again…

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:6-7

Friends, right now we may fool ourselves into thinking that another run to the grocery store and stocking our pantry’s like a personal food bank, or re-checking our financial bank statements will calm our anxieties…but I believe our memory banks are the true places we will find a more fulfilling and more honest peace.

Soul endurance for this mental marathon is stored inside our memory banks. If we are willing, what we have hidden in our memories can serve as a shield from the worry war that wages in our minds in two ways.

The first way, is the way it helped me in the middle of the night last week to quiet the squeaky hamster wheel by exchanging it for a scripture verse I had committed to memory. What we hold and fix our minds to is what we give power to.

Maybe you are already a pro at memorizing scripture – I am not.

But, over the years I have memorized and pre-loaded a handful of scriptures in my memory bank that have made all the difference in sudden fight or flight sprint-like situations or during hard marathon seasons such as the one we are in. Memorizing your first scripture verse can be a game-changer. It is what got me through being quickly thrown into birthing 2 out of 3 babies without an epidural and more recently through the battlefield of my mind during a 30 minute enclosed MRI when all I wanted to do was yell out…”Get me OUT of here!” And now, these pre-loaded verses are proving to strengthen my mind when it wants to work overtime against me in the middle of this marathon.

Memorized truth weakens worry.

The second way is to recall from memory ALL the ways God has been faithful to us in the past through our own personal and previous hard times.

Our world has taken a “hard left.”

This turn of events is harder than I think most of us were prepared for, in a direction none of us wanted…and it is going to last longer than we want it too.

BUT…our memory of God’s faithfulness through all of our personal past “hard lefts,” can guide us straight to the center of God’s will if we allow it.

I don’t know for sure. But, I’m guessing you have been through some “hard lefts” in life. Me too. Some, as a result from my own misguided soul and some as a ripple effect from circumstances around me. But regardless of how or why the hard time hit…one truth has always remained…God was there. Often though, I didn’t realize it at the time. Even when I didn’t feel Him, even when I didn’t see Him working…looking back now…I can see NOW all the ways He was there.

Being a “really good rememberer” right now is critical. When anxious thoughts threaten, I have an opportunity to cast them down and replace them with my personal perspective parade. I call upon the Master of Ceremonies to cue up the hi light reel and flood my mind with the memories of all the times He has proven to be faithful in my past.

Cast down the worry.

Cue Up the memories of God’s Faithfulness in the past.

During times of sadness and deep despair, during times of critical decision making, during times of death, illness and fear…God has always proven to be faithful. Time and time again, situation after situation. He has never failed me and He won’t stop now. And the same goes for you friend.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Deuteronomy 31:6

“Lion-daisies”

Beauty in the Ordinary

You know how children have a knack for re-naming ordinary words or objects? When I was little I always called “meat loaf” = “moat-leaf” and it has stuck ever since. Two years ago, my Livvy girl went to town picking dandelions in our front yard. One by one..she thoughtfully picked them and proudly presented them to me in a sweet bouquet of what she called “Lion-daisies.” From that day on…I have never looked at those ordinary yellow weeds the same.

And you know what? After all of this begins to recede…I am pretty sure we are never going to look at the ordinary backdrop of our lives as the same either.

A walk down the toilet paper aisle at the store, a coffee date with a friend, dinner out at a restaurant with the family, a cycle class at the gym or a quick run to T.J. MAXX…all no longer just ordinary, day filling activities…but beautiful privileges of life…NOTICED…NOT taken for granted.

And, those yellow weeds? Though my husband and I differ on this opinion…they are no longer nuisance weeds growing in our yard. To me, they are sweet reminders of the innocence of my youngest girl’s genuine perspective to see the beauty in the ordinary. Oh how our children teach us.

Friends, I am looking forward to the days when we can hug one another again. Until then, let’s continue to lead our families well by simply taking one day at a time. By digging deep into the well of our memory banks, uncovering the riches of endurance none of us knew we had inside. So, when we peek back at this time under our roofs, years from now…we can say, “we did the best we could with what we had…and it was enough…in fact, it was SO much more than enough.” I am sending you so much love.

Stay strong, stop watering the weeds of worry, pick the Lion Daisies instead.

“Dear Lord, Thank you for lifting our heads and re-training our eyes to see the beauty in the ordinary. Help us to be “really good rememberers” right now of your faithfulness. Teach us how to hide your Word in our hearts and help us to never forget the ways you have shown up for us in our lives in the past. We look to you, as we CAST DOWN our worry and CUE UP our remembrance that you are good…all the time.”

Amen.

Living on a Prayer,

Heather