The sky was crystal blue that day.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3254-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3293-768x1024.jpg)
I remember walking to my English Lit. class across the University of Delaware campus and looking up at the endless, harmless, blue hue sky that hung overhead.
And then…that harmless blue sky breathing above me became a vehicle of weaponry used by terrorists to take the last breath of thousands.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3277-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3258-768x1024.jpg)
I know you remember it too…where you were on September 11th, 2001.
I am sure that next year…the “twenty years later” watermark…will solicit more chatter and remembrance about the day that America will “never forget.”
Admittedly, some September 11th’s have whispered in and out personally with a little less notice than others since that horrific day.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3264-768x1024.jpg)
But this year…I personally want to give it more pause…and perhaps that is because of the pandemic life we have lived in for the last six months…and the reminder that it springs up –
that everything can change in the breath of one single day.
The pandemic has stilled us…prompting pause in many areas of life.
And yet…although we are stilled and slowed…we are more weary, heavy, burdened and tired…so tired…more than I can ever remember being.
Perhaps we haven’t been this heavy since 9.11.01.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3268-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3275-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3276-768x1024.jpg)
Honestly…my brain feels broken sometimes from all that has unfolded this year.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3272-768x1024.jpg)
So instead of powering through and wrestling with the weight of this world we are living in…I am taking cues from the natural world around me.
I am letting go.
Summer does not wrestle and take a hard stance up against Fall when it shows it’s cooler breeze and Autumn smells…Summer simply takes her last deep breath….exhales her salt air and…let’s go.
There is no fight for who takes center stage.
The natural world echoes it’s wisdom and gently breathes and breezes into her rhythm and invites us to go with her.
And so?
I let go and let her lead.
Our seaside walks, toes touching the water, hunting for shells has breathed her last breath for the season and now…we inhale a new rhythm.
Here, we have exchanged our shell walks for nature walks.
Instead of collecting shells, we collect leaves, acorns, pinecones and even sticks.
Why?
Because it is helping us move our mood into where God wants us to be…with Him, in this season.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3130-768x1024.jpg)
Last night we took advantage of rained out soccer practices and I dug out the scrapbook I made during the weeks that passed after September 11th, 2001.
I was a Senior in college and needed a way to let go of the sandcastle of emotions I was trying to hold steady inside of me.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3226-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3230-1-768x1024.jpg)
Our UD campus quickly became flooded with yellow ribbons and American flags much like every corner of America.
Americans banding together, unified in love.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3299-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3301-768x1024.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3308-1024x768.jpg)
I visited my home in Darlington where my parents hung an extraordinarily large American flag on the outside of our home facing our quiet street while smaller flags hung proudly on our side porch.
And instead of a toilet paper shortage…there was a flag shortage.
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3303-768x1024.jpg)
Two months after September 11th 2001, my Mom made the difficult decision to end my parents marriage after 25 years.
And when I graduated from college that May I didn’t go back to the home that hung those brilliant proud American flags.
I knew it had to be this way…and it really was for the best.
But at that time…all the earth changing under my feet left me feeling pretty wobbly after graduation.
Friend…maybe you are feeling wobbly too?
Me too.
Right now.
In this ever changing landscape of life.
One thing I know is that when life inside and outside feels wobbly…the fastest way for my feet to find their direction is to look to the One who makes all paths straight.
“In all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:6 NIV
Seeking Him, helps me to follow the lead of the seasons and trust in His power the way the breath of the air trusts His direction.
It is in the seeking, that I learn to let go of the grip I am holding on the things I cannot control and instead whisper to God,
like Summer whispers to Fall….
“It’s your turn.”
Heather krout
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3019-1024x768.jpg)
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3021-1024x768.jpg)
Friend…keep looking up.
There are Angel Armies inside that pink sky.
The shortest distance from where we are to where we want to be is:
“I trust you God.”
Heather Krout
When life is wobbly…and I begin to doubt in everything. The best answer I have for myself and the best answer I have for any and all of us is…a silent breath that says, “I trust you God.“
In the days after September 11th 2001 and in the days of this pandemic…He was there and He is still here.
And…when the Earth and familiar ground we once knew changes…look up to the sky…look down at your feet…look all around you…because even if you don’t feel His presence…the seasons and the natural world will stand in the gap, offering to fill the spaces of our doubt.
While we wait in what feels like a dark covering…
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3358-474x1024.jpg)
allow the rhythm of the natural world around us to gently breathe and breeze you along into your next minute, your next hour, your next day, your next week…
![](https://heatherkrout.com/wp-content/uploads/2020/09/IMG_3348-768x1024.jpg)
until the darkness is broken by the Light…and a fresh breath takes flight.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1 NLT
Friend, I am thinking of you and praying for you…and as we all are finding ourselves being sharpened and shaped in this season…my hope is that when we feel the dark covering closing in around us we will take a cue from the seasons and their voice to one another as they pass the baton of breath…reminding us what to say when we don’t know what to do…
“God – It’s your turn.”
God,
Thank you for reminding me that even when my life feels unsteady…you are steady.
Thank you for teaching me that even when it feels dark all around me…I am safe in the shelter of your love and light. I know that you see me, even when I don’t see you. Help me to hand over what I am holding and to let it go safely into your hands.
Lord, I pray that you would touch the heart of every person grieving a son, a daughter, a co-worker, a parent, a friend today. Let them feel your peace.
Please still and steady our wobbly hearts so that we can learn the new rhythm you are trying to teach us. Soften us so that we will see what you want us to see.
Amen.
Living on a prayer,
Heather
One Comment