“But what if I don’t know what I am doing?”
(me to God)
“Don’t worry. I do.”
God to me
Do you ever feel a little lost or confused, overwhelmed and frozen from pressure, stretched and stressed from keeping up with all the things and just plain uncertain over the framework of the future and how it’s all going to work out?
Me too.
Turns out though, I am grateful for the recent recognition and allowance of those queasy feelings of uncertainty because they have led me into a season of pruning, editing and daring. I’m naming it my “Get Down, Get Low” season. Through my stillness, I have realized some valuable truth treasures that are helping me find my way, one baby step at a time, and maybe they will help you too.
“Getting Down & Getting Low” has been filled with lots of stillness, surrender, doubling down on scripture study and on bended knee prayer. Truthfully, it can feel unproductive at times, but I know there is inner work being done…I can feel it.
When I am feeling uncertain, I can choose to hustle harder, wrestle with anxiety and get tangled up in fear over all my shortcomings and fogginess of the future OR I can invite stillness and allow myself to confidently rest in the certainty that God REALLY does have a plan which holds my unique assignments and I am simply called into obedient action in His direction.
– Heather krout
Can I be honest? I hope so…because a desire for soft vulnerability is part of why I feel called to begin this blog…to create a space where transparency, authenticity of spirit and honest encouragement is offered and welcomed, all built on the framework where “keep’n it real” is required for myself.
On that note – I’ll go first.
I DON’T know what I am doing. FOR.REAL.
Blogosphere, widgets, plugins – I mean really?! You guys – I am the most tech-challenged girl you know…I still print out map quest directions ok friends? BUT God is bigger than tech right? Let’s pray so!
Ok then! Here we go! And with that off my chest…WELCOME to my new BLOG!
I am so glad you are here! SO, SO GLAD. I hope you feel my hug.
THIS.IS.Me.
….Standing on my white sofa and “Livin’ on a Prayer” that God’s got THIS…
“THIS” is where you are right now…the words on your screen are a new assignment I feel called to add to my “dash.”
“The dash.”
You know, the little line on our tombstone that sits between the date of our first breath and the date of our last. “The dash,” represents our life in between those two dates. My dear yoga instructor recently began our practice with a reading of the poem “The Dash” by Linda Ellis which affirmed my “get down, get low” season and evoked in me an even deeper cause to pause and consider:
“How am I REALLY spending my dash, my assigned amount of time here?”
(aside – I’m an 80’s baby…I’ll be turning 40 in August…whooaaa momma. Yep, turns out my halftime report is calling for a pulse-check and heart monitor in the best way)
Because, it got me thinking…
“What if ‘The Dash’ didn’t look like a minus sign?”
–
Minus: what am I taking, subtracting, consuming from the world?
What if “The Dash” was a PLUS + Sign?
+
What VALUE did I ADD in the middle?
DOB + DOD
In other words, what did our breaths on earth breathe life into? What did we OFFER UP and bring to the table? What did we deliver on, create, cultivate, inspire and spur on? What feelings and emotion did we increase in those we spent time with while we are here in the middle?
Considering “the dash” as a + sign, or as a limited, yet assigned opportunity of time to ADD value, may help us decrease the amount of time we waste, allowing ourselves to stay “settled-stuck” in uncertain situations.
You might be thinking: “Good grief girl, I can not ADD anything else to my plate!”
Amen friend, I get it.
Rest easy, the timeline vision of a plus + sign “dash” is NOT linking arms with the common cultural multi-tasking crisis we are currently experiencing to do “all the things” in order to keep up with our “hustle harder” world. It is NOT adding one more thing to our already overly full plates so that we can accomplish, achieve and DO MORE. In fact, take a deep, slow breath – because it’s just the opposite. In my experience, the process of adding, requires subtracting.
“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about unbecoming everything that isn’t really you so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”
– paul Coelho
“Un-becoming”
When I first read the above quote, I felt like it was a soothing, soul-whispering, warm light coming from deep within guiding me back home. An invitation to release self-induced pressures, remove invisible armor required when working to measure up and live up to meet others expectations, and a chance to re-trace my steps back to who God purposed me to be before I got in the way with all my hustle and bustle and “busy for me” agenda.
To me, “un-becoming” is the opposite of “re-inventing” and instead, beautiful permission to shed what has been picked up along the way, to let go of anything that is no longer serving me well and to re-scale what is not true to size in the current season. An opportunity to decline the pressures or ideals of what I “should” be doing that weigh me down and exchanging it for the invitation to sit and confidently rest within the original design of me.
If you feel uncertain over anything, I would argue that it’s not by coincidence. (fun fact: I don’t believe in coincidences) It may be your subconscious surfacing the seeds of a new and honest assignment from the One who designed you, calling you to prayerfully edit and make margin so that you are able to “re-meet” the original design, HIS design of the one and only you.
“See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:19
That nudge, that idea, that small stirring…THAT is a “dash” assignment from the One who knitted you together. (Psalm 139:13) THAT FEELING is there for a reason.
Do you feel what could be a God-given assignment circling your feet? I am willing to challenge you that you have a dash assignment dangling within your reach right now. And as a friend in the process of “unbecoming” I want to encourage you that as frozen as you feel with doubts and questions of the unknown ahead, the action of moving towards your truth and what is honest in your heart, baby step by baby step is freeing. SO freeing.
Obedient, spirit-led action packs a powerful punch that will knock down the storm of stress, calm the undertow of comparison and unlock the uncertainties to make room for peaceful purpose.
Baby steps of Action
+
Big Leaps of Faith =
Add Up to God-Assigned Abundant Life
Friend, while you are here (and I hope you come back, subscribe below so you don’t miss what’s next 🙂 I want you to know that my deepest hope is to encourage and inspire you. If you are feeling uncertain about anything I would gently suggest you invite your own “Get Down & Get Low” season of quiet editing and gentle subtraction so that you have space to receive.
If you aren’t sure how to begin “getting down & getting low” It can be as simple as beginning the habit to give God your first affections in the morning by going to Him first with your heart. Practicing 5-10 minutes of Quiet Time and reading a daily devotional are great places to start.
I am a HUGE Proverbs 31 Ministries fan, I love their Daily Devotionals and start my day with them. You can sign up here: https://www.proverbs31.org
I am also LOVING the Bible study: Trustworthy by Lysa TerKeurst
https://www.proverbs31.org/study/online-bible-studies/trustworthy
Lysa is an amazing teacher who is gifted in helping others read and understand the Bible as well as learn how to apply the scriptures to our life today.
And friend let me be real clear. Just because I am offering bits of advice or sharing what is helping me…I am still a broken girl trying to find her way.
This soft landing space in the blogosphere that I am beginning…is an honest to goodness act of obedience. It is a baby step of action towards God in the direction I feel His Spirit guiding me. I will never ever tell you HOW to FEEL. I will only and ever attempt in my imperfect way to point you towards the One who I believe can help us all figure our stuff out. I by no means have it figured out…I recently realized at the end of an evening that I was wearing my dress backwards while still sitting down at a dinner reception where “The Gov” was the VIP guest. Lord have mercy.
In spite of ALL that mess….if you still want my two cents…
It’s this: If God is nudging you to take baby steps and big leaps of faith towards something that is still unclear yet honest in your heart…give yourself permission to refuse the rush. In the stillness and quiet, I believe you will tease out your truth for the season you are in and find clarity for the near future. In doing that, may we all accept the invitation to ADD to the spaces we inhabit and communities we interface, by receiving our unique assignments that have been hand-picked for every single one of us and ADD value in the specific way we were designed to. Speaking of design…
I’ll do my best to make this space pretty and inviting through my home pics and I’ll also be sharing a new adventure in Home-Decor Consulting (more on that coming) all along the journey of “keepin’ it real” and truth treasure revealing because I want you to be comfortable and cozy while you’re here!
Thank you friend for your support as I launch “Notes for My Daughters” into the great unknown. The blog name, “Notes for My Daughters” is inspired by the many notes my daughters are always scribbling and writing to me, sometimes they are apologies, sometimes they are buttering me up because they want something and sometimes they are just genuine…either way I store them in a box because they are GOLD to me. In some way, I hope they will receive this blog as a love letter of sorts waiting for them to unwrap in the future, once they are old enough to help guide their dash…and in the meantime, I hope and pray these notes help you too. Because they aren’t just notes to my daughters, they are notes to myself and to anyone that needs encouragement. If you choose to subscribe via email you can look forward to bi-weekly posts with real talk, vulnerable stories and lots of laying down my armor.
YIKES. I know – I am scared but then I am not…
…and then I am scared again…and then…I pray:
“Lord…help me to be purposeful and productive for you, and not busy for me.”
Thanks for being here. I am humbled to be your wing-woman as we navigate the dash and actualize the God nudges together. And remember, feeling uncertain is NOT the same as being unassigned.
Living on a prayer, Heather
https://waterfallmagazine.com
Hi there! This post couldn’t be written any better!
Reading through this article reminds me of my previous roommate!
He constantly kept preaching about this. I am going to forward
this post to him. Pretty sure he’ll have a great read.
I appreciate you for sharing!
Thanks for reading & sharing – so glad you connected with this post!! Appreciate you being here!