11 Little Known Ways To Win The Wrestling Match Happening In Your Heart

I have a “love – hate” relationship with my facebook memories notification.

Maybe you do too?

At first I love clicking on that little blue row telling me “You have memories with” such and such “to look back on today.”

The feeling of wonder and curiosity to not only know but see the pictures that tell the story of what in fact I was doing on this day last year, or two and three years ago and so on.

Usually the rewind of time back to eight or nine years ago cue up the twisty, achy, sore heart feelings.

And for a few morning moments, I sit.

Staring at the truth tale that only a photograph can tell.

I scroll and take in every detail to learn and know just how much our three daughters have changed and grown up in what feels like a short amount of time.

And there it is.

Knocking me square in the chest with the cold hard fact of precious time past by.

The walk down memory lane quickly morphs my emotion of curiosity into a disbelief and a wiry worry that I am not drinking in the moments fully enough.

More recently though, the usual achy heart feelings of receiving and recognizing the truth that these young years are fleeting, is another feeling.

A new emotion has crept in during this Covid covered season.

The nagging idea that I should pick up my measuring stick of memories and hold it up against the present day memories being made, in order to asses if the moments I am making today will stack up against the colorful pictures of the years past by.

Maybe this has happened to you too?

Suddenly I am hit with the need to asses our current state.

“Are we having as much fun today as we did on this day last year?”

“Are we sharing as many laughs as we did on this day last year?”

The feelings of fresh grief rush in like someone turned the key to a secret, locked door deep inside me and suddenly I am kicking inside the hidden undercurrent that is on constant spin cycle, reminding me that things are not the way they used to be.

Indeed…there is truth in that things are not the way they used to be.

They are not the way there were “on this day last year” or the year before that or the year before that.

Oh friend…I know.

But there is a new truth I also know.

It is ok that things are not the way they were “on this day” last year.

It is in those moments I am sucked into the hole of facebook memories and time past by…that there is a wrestling match going on in my heart.

A fight between “Dwelling vs Doing.”

Certainly the way we are doing life now has changed.

It definitely does not look the way it shows up in the Facebook memories of my feed.

But written in the fine lines of my heart…there is a peace.

“You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all those whose thoughts are fixed on you.”

Isaiah 26:3 NLT

Something I am learning to be true in this new way of doing life is that our emotions give us information.

When I allow myself the guilt-free, safe space to have a heart that is open to receiving the information my emotions beg to teach me…I am learning new truths.

Accepting the invitation to trade the “dwelling” and accept the “doing” of the walk inside my personal journey of grief is the only way I am learning my unique steps to our new dance.

One breath, one blink, one heart beat at a time.

I am exchanging the grip that begs to cling tightly to dwelling for what was lost in this unique season of traditional expectations unmet and instead….

meeting it with a heart that bleeds surrender.

The willingness to experience the extreme emotions wrestling inside me is leading me to new discoveries about myself, my family…my heart.

My heart is most cared for when I make the choice to attend to the present moment.

In other words…be where your feet are.

Yes, the landscape of life looks different than last year’s Fall season. It’s true, the memories we are currently making will shine differently in our hearts than the previous years.

I also believe deep down that this season has potential to transform us if we consent to the shaping of our seconds to reflect the fine lines of holy fingerprints.

Friend, if you are in the heart fight, wrestling match of dwelling vs doing…sometimes it just helps to get back to the basics.

Here are 11 little known ways to help your heart win the fight worth doing:

1. Get outside.

2. Look at the natural world around you.

3. Breathe in the air.

4. Look up at the sky.

5. Take a walk.

6. Search for the light poking holes in the darkness.

7. Then move your body and stand in the light.

8. Stand still and close your eyes.

9. Open your eyes and look at the light.

10. Let it warm your face.

11. Ask God to smooth the sharp edges of sadness and soften the pangs of ache that writhe in your body.

Breathe. Step. Repeat.

I was at a women’s retreat with my Mom and ladies from our church in 2009 and the speaker shared this truth with our group.

Maybe you need to hear it today.

I know I needed the reminder.

“The most important thing is not that we can see God, it is that God can see us.”

Beth Booram

It’s hard.

And this unprecedented season has a way of making things that were already hard…even harder.

The “hard” landcsape sometimes makes it “hard” to see God.

But trust me friend. God’s ability to work inside our stories does NOT depend on our ability for us to see Him. It only depends on His ability to see you.

In my experience, “dwelling” sometimes leads to doubting.

Perhaps you are in that dwelling – doubting place today. You subconsciously picked up your memory measuring stick of the past and have found yourself sucked in and stuck.

I want you to know this.

He sees you friend.

He is holding new memories for you in your uniquely designed future.

“Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing.”

John 15:5 NLT

The 2020 “on this day” facebook memory real is going to look different.

But, what I am learning about my heart, is that these days and the minutes inside them hold the power to be the most transformative memories made to date.

If I let them.

For us…they will look simple.

Next year, when I scroll back to these Fall days of 2020 they will tell stories of apple picking field trips. Silhouettes of daughters doing the hard work of homeschool learning, dining room watercolor art class and many, many ice cream treats.

And my hope is that the memories will reflect a heart that received the gift of light that pours in the peace of unexplainable contentment in the most simple of memories.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love.”

Romans 5:3-5 NLT

Father God,

Thank you for all of your gifts that you give so freely to us. Thank you for comforting us in our sadness, strengthening us in our weakness and forgiving us in our doubts.

Lord help me to seek you in my every day steps. Will you help me to see your hand in the most simple of seconds?

God, I know that apart from you I can do nothing. Please draw me close and help me to remain in you.

Thank you for your unending love and gentle grace.

Amen.

Living on a prayer,

Heather

PS – Thank you for your continued prayers for my Aunt Jeanie. We are hopeful that she will soon begin a clinical trial at the University of Cincinnati for a phase 1 drug very soon. We continue to claim and pray for a total healing and are deeply grateful for your prayers.