What Is Saving My Life Right Now

Are you feeling drained? Here is one thing that always helps me get back to feeling like myself and is saving my life right now.

Happy April friend!

I don’t know about where you are reading this from right now…

But, here in Maryland?

Spring has been showing up in the form of liquid sunshine, and a lot of it!

But?

What I am remembering right now, is that experiencing a week of day after day of steady rainfall…

It has a way of helping us to appreciate the sunshine and warm bright days when we get them, just a little more.

Also?

It can be an opportunity to refine our mindfulness, to be the type of people who are more keenly aware and tilted towards a spirit and soul of gratitude, even when the terrain is soggy.

In other words, the rain, rain and more rain?

It has a way of helping us treasure and value the goodness of the sun…especially when she shines.

I took a little blog break last week to enjoy some family time as all 3 of our girls were off from school, for Spring Break.

We squeaked in a quick trip to the beach and then came back home to celebrate Easter and Eve, our oldest daughter’s 15th Birthday, by going to the Baltimore Orioles game with friends.

Honestly?

As I was doing a quick scroll of my camera roll for this post…

The picture below of Eve, holding the oversized rose gold balloons shouting the number – gulp…

15

Well, it caught me off guard.

15?!?!

Did I read those balloons right?

How is she 15!?

Shouldn’t the balloons be like numbers one and three and read…13?

Where did the last two years go!?

How did this even happen?

First of all…

Let’s review the obvious –

How am I even old enough to have a 15 year old daughter, because I am pretty sure my high school Senior Prom was just ya know…a blink ago. 🙂

And?

I’m also pretty sure that I was chasing this little blue eyed blonde girl up and down the beach, just last Summer.

Let’s just say that the old saying, time flies when you’re having fun…

Well, it’s not only true.

But?

It also…stings just a little.

Don’t get me wrong.

I’m not sad about our girls growing up.

Not at all.

Although, I do find myself sometimes cradling the maternal tension of grief for the younger years, joy and chaos of the nuances of now and the hope for the years to come.

I am grateful and oh so thankful.

I know it can be different, first hand.

In fact, I wrote in this post about Eve turning 13, just two years ago and the tangle of personal emotions I had all wrapped up around her birthday, because of losing my brother when he was age 13.

I know that growing up is a blessing and what is supposed to happen…Lord willing.

But even still?

Change, even good change and positive growth carry a bag of mixed emotions.

Relinquishing and expanding what you’ve known as familiar ground and sharing vulnerably with the world, what you have held sacred and close for so long…

Well, that invisible work…is not small.

Friend, I don’t know what emotions, thoughts, situations and considerations you might be cradling today.

I don’t know the fine details and great depths of the particular things that might be weighing heavy on your heart right now.

But I do know…that we all have stuff.

And?

Even the good stuff can be tricky and heart stinging stuff sometimes.

While I typically love to share the things I am working on around our home, and very soon I will be sharing with you the before and after pictures of Maci’s teen girl bedroom makeover (it’s looking SO CUTE!) and our front porch decorated for Spring (as soon as the rain stops.) 🙂

Today on the blog, instead of sharing the outward work of projects I am getting done, today I am sharing a peek inside the invisible work being done in my heart. The thoughts that I am processing through and the one thing that is saving my life right now.

Maybe it will help you too.

Follow me friend.

What Is Saving My Life Right Now

1. Recognizing & Making Space For The Strength Of Invisible Work

In a world fueled by instant gratification, viral must haves and highlight reels, it can be considered counter cultural to make and hold space for work that people can’t see, stand up or clap for.

But, one thing I am coming back to again and again, especially during this time of year in Spring, is this.

The thing that is saving my life right now, and has continued to save it over and over again is…

Being unapologetic about holding space and time for the transforming strength of invisible work to be done.

Yes, invisible work.

Work that is being done on the inside of your heart, beneath the surface and not displayed for public viewing.

Invisible to the naked eye and boldly opposing the Instagram algorithm, but clear, obvious and on board with the heart beating inside your core being…

This is the invisible work of sustaining in a world of accumulating.

Invisible work is inner work that matures, builds and sustains the inner and outer shell, cultivating peace within the core, over time.

Just as invisible work has been busy all Winter long, beneath the Earth’s surface, nurturing seeds for new growth, preparing and readying itself to pop up for a new season.

So too, is the heart invited into the invisible grounding work of taking notice of new convictions popping up while nurturing the authenticity of ones own, personal core values.

Invisible work is the work that is sacredly and purposefully buried, underneath the to do list and ta da posts.

It is assigned for you and you alone.

Invisible work is saving my life right now because I am allowing space and grace for inner work to move my heart through the tensions of what it is to be a human, a Mom, a wife, a daughter and a friend, in this world, in this time.

This time in the world, when my memories flash and trace back over the timestamp of the last month, that marked the 4 year anniversary of the Covid 19 pandemic.

I am reminded of the power and need to normalize what it means and is to…

Take a beat.

Take a breath.

And, look back at our path, so that we can look ahead with fresh hope, built from the ground of how far we have come.

Yes, our individual hearts hold a unique hand print, tracing over every soft and bold line of God given emotion that bubbles up, seeps sideways and cries out from within when we look back on the path, look down to the ground of now and look ahead to the hope of tomorrow.

This tension of resolving to look back and also look ahead, while granting myself permission to make space for the invisible work of noticing the now feelings of today?

This is saving my life right now.

Because?

It’s helping me to simply focus on the knowing that in this moment?

I am OK.

Also, this invisible work is helping me to take the pressure off the “big picture” of the future.

And instead?

It’s helping me to focus on getting the little things right for today.

And from what I’ve experienced, when we get the little things right today.

We have a better chance when we swing to get the big things right tomorrow, or have a hope of them falling into a soft landing space of grace.

Because this life?

It’s hard.

It’s not linear.

It’s wavy and soggy.

It’s muddy and puddly.

It’s up and down.

It’s big and small.

It’s urgent and waiting.

It is yours and it’s mine.

So what is one tangible thing we can we do to help us make heart space for the invisible work waiting for us?

Well friend, it doesn’t have to be the same thing for all of us, or one more thing to add on to your to do list.

And trust me, I get it.

When you are not quite feeling like yourself or you feel just plain down…

It can be down right hard to do the things that lift you up.

Try asking yourself this question.

What is one thing that helps you get back to yourself?

I’ll go first.

For me, I find that taking a walk is always a good first step (pun intended) to help me get back on track to feeling like myself.

Even just a short walk around the block with Willa always seems to be a good way to invite my heart to settle into alignment, for a chance to hear the thoughts of truth that God wants to bring fresh to my mind that day.

Also?

I find that taking at least 10-15 minutes of quiet time in the morning with God prepares my heart for the invisible work He wants to work out in me.

It’s during this quiet time, where I decidedly pick up my conversation with God from the day before and re-start it, and in effect it helps to keep the God & Me conversation going throughout the day.

I once heard of prayer being described as Jesus walking up to you and listening to your breath.

However, quiet.

However heavy laden.

Jesus comes close.

Jesus doesn’t flinch.

When we give ourselves permission to grant the time we need to take a beat and take a breath…

We give ourselves the opportunity to invite God into the invisible work of heart and soul synching that leads us to where our deep breaths want to take us.

Take a beat.

Take a breath friend.

Living on a prayer,

Heather

If you enjoyed this post, I wrote a similar post exactly 1 year ago, about the 11 specific things that were saving my life last Spring.

11 Little Things That Are Saving My Life Right Now